Monday, July 18, 2011

I feel like a total whore! I need advice from actors/cast directors or just ppl..I feel I so guilty?! ?

I did this comercial, because I am an aspiring actress. Felt this would be good for my reel. It was a hotdog comercial for this guys hotdog business. So anyways certain things chaned from what I had agreed. But the theme was going to be like the lady and the tramp kinda theme. Accept no kissing! It was going to be with another girl. So 2 girls eating each side of the hotdog. Anyways in the comercial we were looking all coy & I was just like feeling awkward when I did it. Then they suggested we do like double bites of the hotdog on each side. When I looked back at this it looked fine. But after I went home I realized that guys will look at that & take it as deep throating or some crap! I'm not lesbian! The girl I did it with come to find out she was bi. Anyways I feel so regretful and that's not the image I want to portray myself as! I feel as an actress to say I'm a christian & for christian folks young & old to see that will think very lowly of me. Thing is, I'm actually a virgin. Compared 2 most girls im a goody two shoes. I go to school & have a good career waiting for me in the med field. But actings what I love. Right now I'm in & out of guilt. The next day I cried & asked God for forgiveness. Decided I'm never doing a role like this again! I signed a release, & its 15 sec or less commercial. I am talented in a lot of things and all. I believe one can be a christian in Hollywierd. Realize it takes a strong one! There are times I feel scared to also be great! Ill be inspired and then the next day I wake up thinking about that inspiration I had prior & completely feel inferior. Like a feeling of, yeah right, your not good enough, ppl won't accept me. I'm not the best looking in hollywood. Bla bla & then there are times where I think positive about it. I get anxiety & nervousness. something I want to work on. Please help me with this! What should I do? Is a web comercial I did a career killer 4 a fresh face? What can I do 2 get myself out there? Advice? Thank u!

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